From Fat to Thin Thinking Page 8

  On one occasion I noticed Joan wasn’t smoking and she had also lost weight. I asked her, “How did you do it, Joan? It’s so hard to quit smoking, and it’s so hard to lose weight. It’s almost impossible to do both at the same time. What’s the secret?”

  “Well,” she confided, “I hired someone to follow me around all the time and talk me out of smoking when I wanted to, and pretty soon I quit the habit.”

  “That’s amazing! What about the weight?” I asked.

  Joan smiled and replied, “Well, once I stopped smoking, I did start gaining a bit of weight because I was snacking instead of smoking. There was no way I was going to get fat and outgrow my wardrobe. So I asked the same person to come back and follow me around, coaching me to stop eating at inappropriate times. He helped me with portions and motivated me to exercise. Pretty soon I had these new habits down, and voila, I am now doing it on my own,” she said, proud of her cleverness of coming up with such an out-of-the-box solution.

  I was green with envy. I wished desperately that I had the money to hire someone to follow me around and to tell me when to eat, talk me out of snacking, and encourage me to exercise. If I had a coach following me 24/7, I could be thin and stay thin, too.

  Building Mastery with An Inner Coach

  As I began my new Weight Mastery life, I realized what I was developing was something like having this 24/7 coach inside of me. This coach kept me focused on moving toward the kind of life I now saw for myself at my ideal weight. One that was self-respecting, healthy, light, and, above all, free!

  Instead of criticizing myself and going on restrictive regimes, I used my Inner Coach to evolve a way of eating. I would honor the tastes I liked as well as satisfy my nutritional requirements and my needs for pleasure, too. And I would still lose weight! I focused on eating enough to feel satisfied but not so much that I felt overly full. I began tuning into the reality of my body and balancing how much food and exercise I needed to create a slow, steady, and pleasurable weight release.

  When I went overboard and ate something that seemed bad or ate too much, instead of saying “You blew it, so screw it!” and throwing my eating plan under the tracks, I forgave myself right in that crucial moment. I got myself back on track, knowing the damage done couldn’t be worse than going back to that place of struggle.

  I thought about teachers I had in high school who believed in me. When I turned in less than stellar work they didn’t say, “You blew it! Start 10th grade over!” They showed me where I needed to improve so that I could learn how to do the task better.

  My Inner Coach became like those teachers that knew I could succeed. My Inner Coach knew I could succeed at weight mastery, too. My Inner Coach was dedicated to helping me become that person who could live her life at 140 pounds.

  By staying connected to my Inner Coach at all times I found something I never had before—CONSISTENCY. I was able to keep taking care of myself and tending to my new skills of feeding myself effectively, moving my body, and staying connected. It felt great and every day I was more confident in my new way of life. Plus, I was developing a wonderful relationship with myself. This broken part of my life was being healed, so was my body, and so was my heart!

  Inner Evolution

  Months passed. The weight was coming off slowly but surely. I gave myself permission to eat nourishing foods as well as fun foods. However, I ate only enough to satisfy my hunger.

  Some days I went overboard, but instead of beating myself up, I figured out how certain foods caused me to want to eat more. (These were the sugary, refined carbs.) I learned that those same foods made me feel sluggish and hungrier when I ate too many of them. I also realized that when I ate more lean protein and beans I felt fuller faster and more even-keeled. I began eating less white foods like sugar and those made of flour. I avoided them not because some diet guru said I had to, but because I felt better. My eating plan seemed to work for my body.

  These revelations came because instead of being stuck in the Weight Struggle Cycle, I was constantly tuning in, making little corrections, and creating new thin thinking wiring that bypassed the old habits. I was focusing on changing from the inside in order to change my outside.

  An inner conversation with my coach might go like this: “Wow I just ate four pieces of pizza, why did I do that? I forgive myself. I won’t blow it. I am a smart and good person, so why did I do something like that, knowing it doesn’t work for me?”

  Thinking back to before I ate the pizza, I realized that I hadn’t had time for lunch. I went to the party starving, and when I sat down to eat, one slice was not going to be enough. What is the lesson I learned? I need to eat something and not feel starved when I am going out, especially for pizza!

  This new way of communicating with myself was revolutionary—so freeing and peaceful. Sure, I had bad days when my Inner Critic and Inner Rebel threw me around a bit. But their power over me had changed. With the new and more powerful voices in my head, I could hear behind the harshness of the Inner Critic and the seductions of the Inner Rebel and hear their fear.

  They weren’t strong and powerful entities that could push me around anymore. They were frightened little children. The more I learned to comfort myself from within, the less these voices reared their heads. They, too, seemed to be comforted by having a new powerful leader—me. And they were just as interested as I was in the path to weight mastery.

  WEIGHT MASTERY SUM UP: Connecting with Your Inner Coach

  There are many ways that developing an Inner Coach helps you use your mind to begin thin thinking and moving toward weight mastery.

  Your Inner Coach:

  Calms you down. When you communicate calmly and powerfully with yourself, you take yourself out of the stress that would habitually take you to food in the past.

  Enables you to learn new habits and beliefs with 100 percent of your mind. When your Inner Coach asks questions about what doesn’t work and what could work better, you engage both your rational brain and your imagination (in your subconscious) to creatively solve problems using 100 percent of your mind.

  Keeps you focused on moving toward what you want. Your mind doesn’t work backward but is constantly moving forward. This is why negative thoughts like “I don’t want to be fat” don’t work. Your Inner Coach is constantly moving you in the direction you want to go, as in “I am moving toward being slim, healthy, and confident!”

  MAKING YOUR SHIFT In the Creating the Connection with your Inner Coach section of this book, you will be led through a writing exercise and hypnosis session to help you discover your own powerful Inner Coach. During your 30-Day Thin Thinking Practice, you will develop a working relationship with your Inner Coach. You’ll set goals, plan meals and snacks, strategize, problem-solve, and learn as you move toward your ideal weight. You and your Inner Coach are a powerful team. This relationship will be the heart of your weight mastery.

  “Finding my Inner Coach has been such a life-changing experience. The ability to have positive and rational conversations with myself about weight management is a revelation!! I never realized how capable I am at releasing weight without a diet.” Charlene M. (Released 6 pounds in 30 days.)

  Now that you have been oriented to your Inner Coach, your guide to weight mastery, let’s look at THE NINE SKILLS OF WEIGHT MASTERY that are going to build the foundation and structure of your Weight Mastery Home.

  CHAPTER 11

  WHO I AM TO BE I AM ALREADY BECOMING

  Introducing The Nine Skills Of Weight Mastery

  You will be happy to know that success leaves clues, and I have spent a lot of time studying the forensics of long-term weight release. Over the years, I’ve searched for answers to questions like these:

  Why are some people able to achieve their ideal weight and keep it off and others can’t?

  What are the Weight Masters doing…and not doing?

 
How are Weight Masters thinking that allows them to have that personal triumph?

  I have boiled my findings and observations down to nine skills that Weight Masters have in common. I will share these skills with you at the end of this chapter. For now, I would like to give you a chance to see the humble beginnings from which these seemingly miraculous people came.

  The National Weight Control Registry Study qualifies individuals who have released a minimum of thirty pounds and kept those pounds off for one year or more as Weight Masters. Here are some traits Weight Masters have in common:

  Most of them had been overweight since childhood.

  91 percent said they had a history of dieting and failing. Some gained and lost as much as 270 pounds.

  They lost an average of 66 pounds and kept it off for an average of five years. (16 percent maintained for ten years and some maintained for as long as 67 years)

  So you see, even if you have failed once or many times in the past, this research proves that you, too, can become a Weight Master. Masters come from a wide cross section of society. Race, gender, economics, intelligence, and location do not determine success for becoming a Weight Master. There is plenty of room for you to join us!

  Breaking Through

  My journey to Weight Mastery kept going. My weight continued to melt off as my Inner Coach helped me use my new thin thinking instead of impulsively acting out. My Inner Coach asked me questions like “If you eat that cheeseburger, how will you feel three hours from now?” If my inner reply was “Full and disgusting, but I want it anyway,” my Inner Coach might inquire further with a curious tone, “Could you eat a few bites of it and then choose something more nourishing like fruit?”

  The way this worked was that I got a taste of what I wanted but didn’t feel gross and bloated. I wasn’t the Inner Critic saying “No, you can’t have it!” or the Inner Rebel demanding, “I need it all!” There was a part of me working to find a place of moderation. My new lifestyle was taking hold, and everything seemed to be wonderful until…I hit my first plateau.

  Behind every problem is an opportunity and a solution. In the journey to my ideal weight, I was forced to see that everything, even a plateau that goes on for two months, is an opportunity for finding a solution. So even though I hit a plateau, I stayed committed. My thin thinking was more important to me than a number on the scale. As I hovered at 165 pounds for over eight weeks, I learned to dig deeper and ask more questions to create long-term solutions.

  Was this the weight I was going to be? I was making healthy choices, exercising, and being consistent. I hadn’t binged or started over in five months, which was a miracle to me. What more could I do?

  Was there something wrong with my body? Had the years of weight loss finally killed my metabolism? I wasn’t greatly overweight anymore, but for health, and admittedly vanity’s sake, I wanted to release about 20 more pounds. Grrrr, what could I do better?

  I had a friend who was a personal trainer by day and waitress by night. She had been very supportive of my journey and often gave me helpful tips. When I hit my plateau, the first thing she suggested was that I record my food, something I hadn’t done before.

  “Yeah, it helps,” she said. “We forget what we eat sometimes. You probably are eating more than you need to. Also, now that you have lost 23 pounds, you need fewer calories than before just to maintain the loss. To keep losing, you may have to cut back even more. It really is just physics. If you have stopped losing you have to either eat even less or exercise more, and you probably won’t get a sense of how much until you record your food and exercise.”

  “Okay,” I said reluctantly. I started writing down what I ate and how much. Sure enough, at the end of the week, when we looked at the amount of calories eaten and the amount of calories burned in exercise, it was clear why I was maintaining weight and not releasing it.

  Wow, that was like a kick to the stomach! Here I was thinking I was eating pretty small amounts of healthy foods and exercising a fair amount. Reality had a different idea of how much food and exercise my leaner body needed to keep releasing. I needed to burn about 500 calories more a day with either eating less or exercising more or a combination of both to begin releasing weight again at the rate of about a pound a week.

  All of a sudden, I felt resistant to change. Hmmmm, I thought. My thinking is resistant to eating less or exercising more or both. How do I change my thinking around this and keep practicing this new food-tracking skill?

  Here was another turning point in my journey where I had to dig deeper into my commitment.

  Shifting With Hypnosis and the Nine Skills

  That is when I decided to begin studying hypnosis and reading about the mind. I began with my old cassette recorder and made tapes of suggestions I could give myself in the state of self-hypnosis. Hypnosis had helped me become a non-smoker. Why not use this powerful mind tool to help me become a Weight Master?

  I gave myself suggestions about the amount I needed to eat daily in order to continue releasing and that I could let go of the fear of eating less. I also made exercise more appealing. I worked on seeing myself as a fit and toned person. I used hypnosis to help me believe I was going to succeed even though the evidence from my past and my old beliefs said that I should give up.

  I listened to a hypnosis recording in the morning to help plan for the day. In the afternoon, I took a few minutes to meditate and refocus my tired mind on getting through the challenging part of the evening. I listened to a longer hypnosis session as I went to bed at night. These relaxed mind sessions allowed me to focus strongly, and within a few days, my attitude changed. I easily stayed within my new eating and exercise plans and began releasing weight again.

  The other breakthrough in awareness that helped me bust through the plateau was understanding that achieving and maintaining my ideal weight wasn’t mysterious and magical. My weight success was directly aligned with the skills I practiced day in and day out.

  Some of the things I associated with “being good on a diet” were skills that I could hone. Take writing down my food, for instance. At first it seemed cumbersome and “diet-y.” But it took on a new meaning when I was using it as a way to be in charge. Tracking my food and exercise calories also gave me an idea of the rate with which I released my weight. Instead of dreading it, I enjoyed developing this skill. It became a fundamental part of my long-term weight release.

  Being curious and discovering common behaviors that worked for Weight Masters helped me to see that long-term success was about developing skills and problem-solving. I could develop new slimmer habits to replace the fattening ones. I could see from the success of others that there were certain skills that helped create Weight Mastery—a slim, healthy body and a thin thinking mind. The key is to use these skills regularly.

  The Weight Skills

  The basic three weight skills are practical and essential tools for long-term weight release. These are the skills that will help melt fat and, if you keep practicing them, keep the weight released from coming back. The research on Weight Masters shows that:

  98 percent of them modify their food intake. Some lose weight rapidly and some more slowly.

  Many Weight Masters don’t follow a diet, and if they do, they eventually modify the structure of the diet to their own lifestyle.

  78 percent of them eat breakfast.

  Most Weight Masters release weight with a low-fat, lower-calorie way of eating.

  Many Weight Masters use vegetables and fruits as a way to eat more with less caloric density.

  94 percent of them increase their physical activity.

  90 percent of them continue to exercise an hour a day to maintain their ideal weight once they obtain it.

  It seemed to me that what I call weight skills are the first and most important three steps to being a Weight Master. For weight release to happen, each of the basic
skills must be mastered. They are:

  Living your Life within your Calorie Budget for Weight Release and Maintenance

  Building a Consistent Relationship with Exercise

  Creating a Masterful Relationship with FoodThe Environmental Skills

  Most people make an average of 277 food decisions a day. Weight Masters eliminated many of those choices simply by taking control of their environments and not being victimized by them. This is a huge distinction from relying upon willpower alone.

  The research on Weight Masters shows that:

  74 percent of them monitor their food and exercise during their weight release.

  50 percent of them continue recording their food to maintain their ideal weight.

  75 percent of them weigh themselves weekly.

  Many avoid having trigger foods in their environments whether it is the kitchen, the car, the office, or all three.

  Success rates more than double when the person releasing weight has support.

  I call the ways in which Weight Masters manage their external world Environment Skills. These skills may look like some of the behaviors you engage in when you’re on a diet, but there is a big difference between developing each of them as a skill to practice daily and being a compliant or being a temporary user.

  The difference in the shift from fat to thin thinking relies on these skills:

  Self-Monitoring

  Stimulus Control

  Creating a Weight Management Support TeamThe Mind Skills

  The skills of using your thin thinking mind are the most important of all. With these skills, you create a new way of communicating with yourself that frees you from self-sabotaging patterns. Research on Weight Masters shows that they:

  Learn to problem-solve challenges rather than give up.